SUMMARY OF CHANGING WITH FAMILIES

The book “Changing with Families” tell about how to change with the family with the one important ways. Over all the book tell us about communication. First for preparing family experience the therapist must doing the communication for the all family member, to know what the goal of family want to changes to be more better than later. Knowing goal its important to preparing doing the next step for changing the family, that is Family system. Family system itself divided into 2 part, the first one is Desired states, and the second one is present state. Desired state is one way which is the therapist help the family member to get their family experience decision in the end of desired state. Present state is a process on going interaction and communicating among the hole family member about what they’re want. Desired state here there are several process, that are; listening and watching. Listening and watching here in order to understand family hopes to agree working together with the therapist at the entire process of changing with family. Understand the family hopes can be two ways that are; verbal communication and non verbal communication. Verbal and non verbal communication here do in order to understand what family want with the comparing the tone, word, syntax, body language, family experience before and the therapist experience to completed the understanding the family member hopes and the family member want in the end of the process. Verbal and nonverbal communications are used to know the family member hopes with connecting with mind reading.

Communication in Virgina Satir’s book have meaning that a process which is sending message between communicator and the receiver. communication is a process for sending message from communicator and the receiver that contains experience in order to understanding the message by the human sense for grab conclusion, in communication conclusion called as a process which is to understanding the message for the next process that is generalization, which is called as the communicator and receiver past experience to get the final destination of communication that is responses, responses here can be define in to two point, that are, congruent and incongruent. If the message from communication can understanding well by the receiver, the communication will be congruent communication, if the opposite position, the communication can’t work well.

In order to understand the family member hopes there are several processes to analysis verbal communication or conversation with the all family member. Verbal communication itself is direct communication between person to another person to giving specific information or talking with the one topic. Understanding the meaning from verbal communicator, the therapist need analysis the verbal patterns, after analyzing the verbal patters the therapist can begin to identified the verbal patterns and connecting with the therapist experience to understanding the meaning from the verbal communication, after that the therapist can get the transcript from the verbal communication meaning. 

Nonverbal communication is communication with gesture, body moving and body language between person to person, it is communication without produce a sound, word and sentences. Nonverbal communication divided into 4 part, that are; the first one is body posture, the second one is set of gestures, the third one is accompanying body sensation, and the last one is syntax. To understand the all part of nonverbal communication its use the therapist experience to connecting his or her experience later with the nonverbal communication. The ways for therapist understand the nonverbal meaning and message its use experience from 3 part, the first one is the communicator itself who is the nonverbal producer. The second one is the person to whom the communication is addressed. The last one is the context form the nonverbal communication.

In order to understand the family communication message its with 2 ways, like the explanation later, the first one is verbal communication and nonverbal communication. Understanding verbal and nonverbal communication is the important thing to reach family changes, so understanding the meaning from communication above its must comparing and connecting with mind reading. Mind reading its can be reach when the therapist comparing the family communication and the therapist experience which is experience when watching and listening communication and body language the hole family. After knowing the family wanting, the family can reach growth and change. Communication its divided into two kind, the first one is congruent communicate which is the body language and syntax are matching with the meaning from communication itself. The second one is incongruent communicate which is communication that body language and syntax is not matching with the meaning. The process of communication that are; communication, experience, conclusion, generalization, and response behavior.

The second part of family system that is present state, present state as we know later is a process, the process of present state its called transforming system which is begin with there are some problem in the family. Problem here must be solving with coping and communicating. Coping and communicating here in order to analyze the problem. The process of coping is by gather information with the family about what they’re really wanting to reach the family changes. After know what the family want, the family and the therapist begin to communicating each other, than comparing the hole family want and make conclusion and decision with that. Reaching decision from the all family want can reach calibration or in other word the problem can solve with fixing the family member hopes. When the problem is solving the family can begin to set of hopes or in other word called nominalization to reach growth and change.